Apart from a few hours at Christmas this weekend was the first time in well over a year, in fact maybe two that my husband and I had a whole child free day!
I have to hold my hands up and say that this is on the whole down to me. With five children to look after all day and the youngest still breastfeeding I selfishly push my husband to the back of the line and when he tries to instigate a night out I throw everything in the way as the shear logistics of getting everyone ready, babysitters sorted, finding something to wear all seem like to much hassle for a couple of hours out.
We had a wedding to go to this weekend so I couldn’t give my usual excuses and to my surprise found the whole lead up to it really exiting and couldn’t wait to go.
With the children all off for a day out with my Mum and Dad my usual anxieties of how are they going to behave, will they be ok, are they going to drive my parents mad all kicked in and the whole feeling of it just being the two of us felt very strange. After a few hours I relaxed and really started to enjoy myself; which was helped along by a few glasses of wine!
The whole day made me think that my husband and our marriage are equally as important as the children and we need to work on it and dedicate just as much time and attention to it as the children. We are the foundation to the family and without good strong foundations things crack so we need to keep it strong.
When the children grow up and fly the nest it will just be the two of us again and unless we keep ‘us’ it will only be the children holding everything together.
With so many things going on in people’s lives these days it’s so hard to be selfish and a schedule time out for yourselves, but from now on we are going to dedicated one night a month just to us. It doesn’t have to be a big extravagant night out, just something that means we can switch off from everything and just be us again.
I also want to factor in one evening that my husband makes an effort to get in early from work and training and we both steer clear of social media to just watch a film together and have a good catch up without anyone or anything getting in our way.
Do you make time for date night? What do you do to keep your marriage strong?
Cant even tell you when my Husband and I last had Date night! But we do have movie night at home a lot with popcorn, takeaway and a few cheeky drinks!
I think as long as you set some time aside for just the two of you, you can’t go wrong x
I agree with you that it is often something that suffers but is integral to the family’s security. You deserve to spend quality time together and I think the once a month idea is a really good one. Enjoy!! #TwinklyTuesday
Thank you, we had such a lovely night and can’t wait now until the next one!! X
You’re so right – we need a date night. We’ve just moved closer to my parents to allow us more time together (as well as see more of them obviously!), but we’ve not yet managed it. Every night we’re sorting out, tidying up, painting, hanging pictures and if not doing any of this, I’m blogging. However, we have plans for Saturday night – i just hope we keep them!! #twinklytuesday
Oh he’s so stick to them!! I’m the worst for finding something more important to do but I’m sure you will feel recharged after a bit of time out! Xx
Firstly, how on earth do you manage with 5 children? I struggle trying to find the time for just me and my partner and we have just the 1 boy. He is now 5mths old and we are yet to leave him with babysitters. I also cannot remember the last time we had an indoor ‘date night’. Thanks for the kick up the butt! I shall arrange something for Friday 😉 xx
Fantastic, I hope you both have a great evening!!
It’s so hard when they are tiny but that’s probably when you need time out most as they are so full on.
The more we have had the less time we have for anything but the kids!! X
We have date night once a month. Normally it’s a simple takeout and a movie on the sofa, but it’s just making time for one another. We have a whole night away in September for our 10 year wedding anniversary. #twinklytuesday
Fantastic I hope you have a wonderful time.
This weekend has really made me think and you are right, even a simple meal indoors together is great x
Now the Tubblet is older, we can sneak the odd date night in. Getting time together is so difficult when they’re smaller, but it has to be done! #twinklytuesday
It’s so true, I really have been neglecting it x
Yep! We (or mainly I) always suggested date nights, sort of sporadically but we did have them. We then took our first weekend away together and it was so brilliant to have time just the two of us (we have 4 children here) we have made a deal to go away for 1 weekend every 6 months. We have done two so far and it really gives us time to remember what it’s like being just a couple 🙂
That’s fantastic!! I’m really going to make more effort from now on.
We go away I. Our anniversary to the hotel we had our wedding night in but always have the youngest ones in tow!!
This year I’m going to try to make it kiddie free!! X
You’re so right it’s so important to make time for your own relationship. We try to have time together once a month but that’s probably easier with one than with five but definitely take what you can get because it’s so important. Thanks for sharing on #wineandboobs
I had got harder the more kids we have but I luckily have supportive parents. More than once a month would defiantly be a no no though!! Xx
It’s definitely hard with kids you get caught up in the everyday busy life. My husband and I ensure we go on one date night at least once a month. Then we plan a vacation for just us ever year. It definitely helps us, I know its hard to do.
Your right it is hard, but so worth it if you can.
It’s good to have a break from the children too as I think you go back to them with a fresh outlook x
I agree 150% that couple time is very important! We try to have a date here and there but finding sitters can be hard sometimes, so everynight we tend to cuddle up on the couch and watch tv together once the kids are in bed. Its not much but it helps us feel connected after a long day of work/looking after the kids 🙂
This is what we really need. My husband works very late and I’m normally engrossed in my phone when he gets in!!
Alone time watching TV is a free pleasure I need to do more often x
I think that it’s important to take time every single day to devote to being husband and wife, not just coparents, even if it’s just to say “I love you.” I saw my marriage dissolve when that ended. As you point out, the children’s presence in the home is temporary. The two of you are forever. I’m glad you got your day.
Thanks for linking with #TwinklyTuesday.
Thank you. You are so right, even the little things you start of doing together like cuddles in the sofa get forgotten about and the connection between the two of you gets lost! X
It’s so easy to not have time together when you’ve got kids. We’re guilty of this! We had a night away back in March and before that was about 3 years before!! We have another coming up in September. It’s so not enough but we’re getting there! 🙂
I hope you have a great time in September. I think any time you can grab is priceless and to be honest makes you cherish it more x
Finding time together can certainly be the most challenging thing about being a parent to young kids and I can only imagine with 5. Good for you. #wineandboobs
It’s a struggle for anybody, but yes asking for a babysitter for five is not easy!!
Great post. I definitely agree that you need to carve out that time when you can just be the two of you.
Instead of blocks of holidays, my husband now takes random days off, when both our kids are at nursery, so we can get things done, and spend some time together just enjoying the peace and quiet!
Hope you manage to make it work for you, I can imagine it must be tough with five kids.
Thanks for linking up on #wineandboobs
@twentyfirstmama
PS – I couldn’t find your Twitter name so couldn’t tag you, but this post has been shared on twitter.
Thank you so much for popping by and for sharing.
My Twitter name is @EChanagasubbay and that’s probably why you had trouble finding it!!!
It’s the school holidays coming up so time is going to be pushed for us to get alone time.
So glad that you and your husband can schedule time in for yourselves, it really is so important xx
Funnily enough I literally stumbled across this just as I’ve sat down to write my own marriage post as it’s our 14th anniversary coming up. Happy marriage…not an easy topic to write about I find. Making time for each other is just so important #wineandboobs
It’s something that needs to be worked on all the time and I’m defiantly the one that fails in making the effort!
Can’t wait to read your post x