I wasn’t going to write a ‘back to school’ post as the Internet has been flooded with them and really and truly I should be a dab hand at all this by now.
Today was the first day I had left number four in the classroom for a whole three hours and I didn’t handle it how I thought I would.
This should be a breeze as let’s face it he has been at nursery for eighteen months and left for that same length of time; and I should be reeling in the fact that I had a whole childfree morning. Something that I spend my entire life longing for.
Instead I felt that it was another door closing and another milestone finished in the rapidly moving life of a child.
The old cliche of ‘oh doesn’t it go fast’ was rushing through my mind and although I find it such an irritating phrase it really is so true.
I hankered around for a few minutes and he asked if I could sit and stay. I simply said no adults were staying today and he took it in his stride and carried on with his drawing.
I longed for that little bit of separation anxiety to kick in but there wasn’t even a glimmer. That little boy that had hung on my every word was now going to have another important figure in his life who’s words will be gospel and I can’t help but feel a little bit redundant.
I thought that the more children I had the easier moments like this would be but it seems to be having the opposite affect.
I know what is coming and I know those moments in time are now gone and can’t be replaced.
I now need to pick myself up and look forward to the adventures he is going to have during his school years. The friends he is going to make, the things he is going to learn and the experiences he is going to share to mould him into the little person he is going to grow into.
If there is one thing I have learnt over the years of preschoolers is to pack as much in and capture as much as you can in those first few years so they can be looked back on and relished as they simply are the most precious years.