Yes and not a Nanny of the childcare kind…a real life Grandma in my late thirties!
When someone says Nan or Grandma the immediate image that is conjured up in my mind is a grey hair lady with fluffy slippers on and a set of knitting needles in hand.
Of course I know that this is far from the truth these days and probably a small minority fit this stereotype, but I for one didn’t feel ready to become part of this category.
When my eldest came for dinner with her partner a few months ago my heart told me that the news of the pregnancy was coming.
Those glances to each other, egging one another to break the news was apparent before they had even muttered a word.
The mixture of worry of my reaction and the excitement of their impending arrival was written all over their faces and although for a good few hours before they broke the news I knew what was coming.
Although Alice is only 19, having her own family has been on her mind for a while now even if she had never admitted it to me.
She has proved me wrong over the past few years by going it alone and creating a life with her partner that I thought would fall at the first hurdle but they have worked hard and created a home together and for them this was the obvious next step.
I was a young Mum myself and know only to well the troubles, isolation and unimaginable life change a new baby can bring.
That said youth does give you that carefree optimism and fresh outlook at everything that is sadly taken away with age.
So many things have been wirling through my mind for the past few months and having my daughter’s baby shower at the weekend made everything that little bit more real.
All those worries are still in my head about how she will cope and what is she going to miss out on by having a baby so young; but selfishly I wondered where it left me.
With my youngest bearly out of nappies and my life still revoving around mums and toddler groups and school runs I didn’t feel ready to move onto that next phase in my life.
I am quite content with being a mum of young children and had hoped that as mine grew and that empty nest feeling began to set in I would then be able to sit back and enjoy my grandchildren, not whist I’m very much in the preschool phase of my life.
All this said I know this is the right thing for her and once my first grandchild is born I will not look back and will be there to love and support them every step of the way.
I am however still trying to find a slightly cooler name than Nan as this is still not sitting well with me!