capturing memories as we make them
2020 will most certainly go down as a year to remember. Sadly this will be for all the heartache and loss it has brought to us all. But as with every bad situation you need to look for the good and for us there had certainly been some wonderful, simple moments that I will cherish forever, and as always I’m going to show you these in pictures as they convey the fun much more than my words ever could…
It was only a few weeks ago that I was moaning at my husband for not wanting to get on the tube due to the Coronavirus outbreak – fast forward to now and I have just had sweaty palms and my heart beating out of my chest as I prepared to leave the house to do the weekly shop.
In such a short space of time the world has been turned upside down in a way none of us could have imagined, at times it feels like we are living in a movie scene.
I feel grateful that for us it’s being confined under one roof and financial battles that are our only problems as I know that there are far worse situations going on around us and this helps me gain some perspective when things get on top of me.
I developed a cough and felt unwell around a week before the official lockdown and we are now approaching our third week of social distancing.
I’m not going to lie, the first few days were pretty horrific. We went from a family that are like ships passing in the night for the majority of the time, to being with each other twenty four hours a day was a huge shock.
The dining room has had a bit of a turnaround and for the best part of the week is now a training area for my husband to train his clients via Zoom(something neither of us had heard of before) and get some exercise for himself…I need to utilise this more!
With the youngest two I found early on that structure was key and a loose plan was put in place for their home learning was put in place. This hasn’t been without its tears and tantrums, but on a whole making sure their work is complete before they get free time has been working well. Dad comes into play with the teaching for an hour with a PE session to allow me time to get the house in order and I have been fitting my work in before they wake up, during their break times and once they are all in bed.
The teens are a bit of a mixed bag and Izzy has been knuckling down independently, getting her set work completed and busying herself with cooking, crafts and helping me with the boys. Archie however has been less compliant. Getting him out of bed is a challenge in itself and trying to get him to work is impossible. I have my fingers crossed that by working together with his teachers we can get things on track after the Easter holidays.
Food has been a battle ground as for the first two weeks none of us could leave the house and we had to rely on wonderful friends dropping things to us. I have had to ration what we are all eating and it hasn’t gone down well at all. Trying to explain to the children that only having two biscuits a day isn’t going to kill them really isn’t going down well but they are learning to get used to it; as after a very nervous trip to the supermarket, full of people taking little notice of the distance they should be keeping it’s not something I want to be doing to often.
Trying to keep in touch with the outside world is something I’ve been trying hard to keep up and daily FaceTime calls to family and friends are the new normal. We have a very close relationship with our extended family and not seeing my parents, eldest daughter, grandchildren and my sister has hit us all hard, but keeping in touch virtually is a something we are very thankful for.
None of us know when this is going to come to an end, but the importance of following these guidelines to protect everybody else is of the upmost importance and if we all hang in there and get this done then hopefully it won’t be long before we can all get back outside to embrace our love ones and enjoy those simply pleasures we are all guilty of taking for granted until now.
The 14th February comes around again and the shops are full to the brim with stuffed toys carrying hearts embellished with heart felt messages,huge bunches of bright red roses and boxes upon boxes of delectable chocolates.
Our Instagram and Facebook feeds are full of gushing posts to loved ones and pictures of romantic dates and gorgeous gifts…then reality hits me that yet again I have made zero effort for the man in my life!
The man that always goes out of his way at this time of year, not with extravagant presents or over priced days out but simply with loving gestures and beautiful words that mean the absolute world to me, even though I don’t let him know this enough.
This year it really hit me that I can’t use the excuse that I’m not romantic and we don’t need a day to celebrate our love as in reality our busy lives find it hard to share a cup of tea together, let alone a entire meal on our own.
So from hear on in I will use this special day to celebrate the kind, loving, thoughtless man I was lucky enough to find all those years ago and make him feel as appreciated as he does me.
Well my big night out has come and gone and I can say that I felt a lot happier in my dress than I was expecting.
I’m not where I want to be yet but the weight loss and toning that has happened so far has really helped with my confidence, something of which I wrote about a while ago.
Due to a few to many drinks and a big fried breakfast in the morning my weight has remained the same. I’m not surprised or disappointed about this as I had a much needed night out with my husband that is far more important than losing a few pounds.
Week Seven
Weight 10
BMI 22
Body Fat 24
Goals
Lose another 2lb this week
Make the most of this good weather and train outside
Get the family involved in my training
I was looking through my Facebook albums today for some inspiration for this weeks captured moment with Running In Lavender when I came across this picture.
It was taken whist holidaying in Florida during what I could only describe as the best year of my life!
I gave birth to my fourth son in the January, I got married to the love of my life in the August and had the most fantastic family holiday to Florida in the October.
This captured moment of my husband was taken getting his face painted in the Magic Kingdom. The happiness on his face just sums up how we all felt on that trip. It’s will defiantly take a lot to top 2012!!
A few months ago after a wonderful child free day I had shared with my husband I wrote a post about the importance of making time for your marriage.
I had promised myself that I would set time aside for us both to have a date night once a month. This hasn’t really taken off and it is all down to me and the effort and guilt it takes to leave the house when you have little ones.
Hubby had put his foot down this week and booked cinema tickets so I simply couldn’t wriggle out of it!
So the military operation to leave the house alone begins. They all need to be rounded up from the different schools, nurseries and clubs they are all at on a Friday afternoon. Of course to make things awkward they are all late just to mess my limited time frame up a bit more.
Next up is feeding time at the zoo, a seemingly mess free oven dinner is prepared but they still manage to cover every surface of the entire kitchen which then takes hours to clean up before sticking them all in the bath to get cleaned up before the baby sitter arrives.
Babies cleaned and in their PJs I now try to get myself looking vaigly presentable for the general public when I can hear a huge gush of water! Yes number three has managed to pull the basin from the wall in the bathroom causing a flood all over my just cleaned kitchen!
More time was spent cleaning up another disaster and I still had the youngest who is still breastfed fed and settled. I finally sit down hair half done and jeans still drying on the radiator when my husband walks through the door all fresh and ready as he is able to get ready child free at work glaring at me for not being ready.
I eventually manage to get out the door with the guilt of leaving a crying baby, shouting at my husband if he won’t settle I’m coming straight home and we are being completly selfish for leaving a crying a baby just to satisfy our own needs.
A frosty drive into town was then eased by a video sent from the babysitter of some more than happy children snuggled on the sofa.
A couple of glasses of wine in, an uninterrupted conversation and the choice of something else rather than Cebebbies to watch then made the stress and the guilt of the last few hours all worth it.
Apart from a few hours at Christmas this weekend was the first time in well over a year, in fact maybe two that my husband and I had a whole child free day!
I have to hold my hands up and say that this is on the whole down to me. With five children to look after all day and the youngest still breastfeeding I selfishly push my husband to the back of the line and when he tries to instigate a night out I throw everything in the way as the shear logistics of getting everyone ready, babysitters sorted, finding something to wear all seem like to much hassle for a couple of hours out.
We had a wedding to go to this weekend so I couldn’t give my usual excuses and to my surprise found the whole lead up to it really exiting and couldn’t wait to go.
With the children all off for a day out with my Mum and Dad my usual anxieties of how are they going to behave, will they be ok, are they going to drive my parents mad all kicked in and the whole feeling of it just being the two of us felt very strange. After a few hours I relaxed and really started to enjoy myself; which was helped along by a few glasses of wine!
The whole day made me think that my husband and our marriage are equally as important as the children and we need to work on it and dedicate just as much time and attention to it as the children. We are the foundation to the family and without good strong foundations things crack so we need to keep it strong.
When the children grow up and fly the nest it will just be the two of us again and unless we keep ‘us’ it will only be the children holding everything together.
With so many things going on in people’s lives these days it’s so hard to be selfish and a schedule time out for yourselves, but from now on we are going to dedicated one night a month just to us. It doesn’t have to be a big extravagant night out, just something that means we can switch off from everything and just be us again.
I also want to factor in one evening that my husband makes an effort to get in early from work and training and we both steer clear of social media to just watch a film together and have a good catch up without anyone or anything getting in our way.
Do you make time for date night? What do you do to keep your marriage strong?
